Thursday, June 29, 2006

A bumper crop of frogs...

Don’t you just love frogs? I do. I’ve just had the most gorgeous, tiny-but-perfectly-formed frog sitting on the end of my middle finger. It was about the size of a penny and we ‘grew’ it from the frogspawn that was deposited in our pond a few months ago.

Well, strictly speaking, it grew itself, but we feel very proud because we’ve had such an excellent ‘crop’ of frogs this year. Last year the fish ate all the frogspawn and we didn’t see one single baby frog, but this year, we have froglets in abundance. Chris is halfway through building some decking around the pond and, when it’s finished, I’m just going to sit and watch them all summer…

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sit and get fit

If you sit at a desk or computer all day long,

if you can't walk distances, climb stairs or do high-impact exercise or

if you just need to squeeze a little more exercise into your day,

then visit
http://www.cherylmillerville.com/sit.htm and sign up for Cheryl Miller's free 'Sit and Get Fit' ecourse. I've signed up for mine - I spend waaaay too long sitting in front of my computer...

Monday, June 26, 2006

Eight superfoods that can make you healthier

If you're interested in the medicinal powers of certain foods, check out 'Go for the Gazpacho: Eight superfoods that can really make you healthier' by Nissa Simon at http://www.aarp.org/bulletin/yourhealth/gazpacho.html.

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Unweddables by Solosingles.com staff

I was doing some internet research yesterday on people who have never married and I came across the following thought-provoking article on the www.solosingles.com site:

Keith Moore, an ambitious professional, devoted his 20s to his career. He drifted into the dating scene in his early 30s, ready to "settle down with a nice girl and start a family."


After four years of dating around, he decided the "nice girls had all moved to another town."

Janet Douglas found herself divorced at the age of 30. She described her husband of six years "as a good father to our daughter, but a man who never should have married."

This single mom grieved, adjusted, then enthusiastically entered the dating scene again. She fully expected to "meet a good guy, marry, and have more children before the age of 40."

After five years of dating and only two short-term relationships, her enthusiasm was wearing thin. As friends and family pushed her to marry, she would lament, "I'm trying; I'm trying. All the men I date, though, really aren't the marrying kind."

There are people in the singles world who, for whatever reason, are unable to sustain a marriage. Unfortunately, they do meet and marry--on the way to the divorce courts.
This story has a happy ending for Keith and Jan. They joined a matchmaking service, met there, married, and produced two beautiful children in a good union.


Not all singles fare so well. Why?

Terry Jensen, matchmaker for Connections Matchmakers Plus in Dallas, Texas, explains,

"When singles are dating in their early 20s, it is easy for them to meet, form couples, and marry. However, some men and women, like Jan's first husband, are unable to sustain a marriage.
"I call them the unweddables because, for whatever reason, they are not suitable for marriage. With each round of divorces, these unweddable men and women make up a larger proportion of the singles' population."


How does this happen?

To simplify the explanation, start with 100 men and 100 women, college kids, never married. Unfortunately, 20% of these men and women are unable to sustain a marriage.

In a perfect world, they would marry each other. They don't; these unweddables meet and marry people who normally could stay coupled but can not remain married to these particular spouses.


Time goes on, these college kids are in their 30s. The unweddables do their thing, they leave the marriage. There are 40 divorces.

Now 80 of the 200 college kids are back in the singles scene. Since 40 of these singles are unweddable, 50% of the men and women in this singles' population are unable to sustain a marriage.

Ms. Jensen continues, "There is another problem here. Most of the unweddables think they want another wife or husband. They are out in the singles' scene actively looking and dating. Since they don't wear a defining sign for all singles to see, these men and women do marry again on another journey to the divorce court."

There are 40 new couples. Ten couples are both unweddables and will divorce quickly.
Twenty of the couples have one unweddable partner; they will eventually divorce.
Ten couples are comprised of men and women who are both the "marrying kind." They do what it takes to make the relationship work, thus never divorce.
Time continues to roll, the college kids are now in their 40s, and thirty couples are divorced again.
Of these 60 singles, 40 are unweddable. A whopping 66% of the original singles' population is unable to sustain a marriage.
The good ones are almost gone.
If you are single and hoping to marry, you probably feel slightly depressed by this illustration. What can you do to protect yourself?
We'll discuss this next month.


Ann's note: You will need to keep an eye on www.solosingles.com to find read next month's discussion.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring

I put the TV on today whilst I ate my lunchtime sandwich and discovered that this week is National Carers' Week here in the UK. With an ageing population, many of us will spend some part of our life as a carer and the extreme importance of carers practising good self-care is often overlooked. Therefore, I was interested to hear about a new book, entitled 'The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring' which was written by Hugh Marriott, who cared for his wife, Cathie, for 10 years. The book was described as 'invaluable', 'easy-to-read' and 'a book that will lift your spirits' by the show's presenters and I am enclosing below a description of the book (which costs £7.99) from the 'This Morning' website:

In 'The Selfish Pigs Guide To Caring', Hugh tries to put his finger on the advice he would like to have been given while he was struggling to learn new skills and find his way in a new and unfamiliar role. The book airs such topics as sex, thoughts of murder, and dealing with the responses of friends and officials who fail to understand. The book states that it is not a medical text book, a care manual nor is it politically correct but simply an honest guide book revealing the truth behind carers and all the things he wished he'd been told. In the book he uses the term "piglet" to describe the person being cared for and has called the book "The Selfish Pigs Guide" as he said; " I felt resentful towards Cathie for wrecking my life. I didn't know it would strike a chord with anyone but then I realised that all carers go through that same thought process. There's a lot of guilt that hangs over carers".

Ann's note: PIGLET is an acronym for Person I Give Love and Endless Therapy to

Monday, June 12, 2006

Questions that can change your life by Michael Neill

Regular readers of my blogs will know that I often recommend Michael Neill's radio show and newsletter. Here is a thought provoking article from Michael's newsletter for this week (sign-up details are included at the bottom of the posting).

QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
====================================

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."-Albert Einstein

Let me ask you a question - if you knew that there is at least one thing in today's tip that will absolutely change your life for the better, how attentively would you choose to read it?

If you experienced any shift in your state in response to that question, you've just experienced the potential power of questions to change your life.

Here's how it works:

Imagine that your conscious attention is like a flashlight and the untapped power of your mind is like a darkened room. Each new question encourages us to shine our flashlight in a new direction so that we can find information and resources that may always have been available to us but were 'hidden' in the dusty recesses of our mental attic.

For example, 'What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?' shines the light of your attention into a corner of your mind where as a child you piled all the hopes and dreams you had been taught were 'unrealistic' and 'childish'.

Asking yourself 'What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about not getting it?' shines the light into the part of your mind where you keep the 'scary goals' - things you really want but fear the disappointment of trying and failing to achieve.

Here are some great questions from Michael Masterson's 'Early to Rise' newsletter (http://www.earlytorise.com):/

1. Imagine you are at your own funeral. What do people say about you - not from the pulpit but in whispered voices at the back of the room? What would you like them to say?

2. What would you do with your money if you had all you could ever need?

3. How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die feeling perfectly healthy in five years?

4. What would you feel you've missed if you found out that you had 24 hours to live?

Again, taking the time to ask and answer these questions can make a tremendous difference to the way you live your life. One similar question which completely changed my approach to my business was this:

Imagine you are on your deathbed and you have had a wonderful life. What are the four or five things you are most glad that you did?

When I realized that one of the things on my list was 'I was there while my kids were growing up', I decided that a life on the road as an actor and speaker was not the life for me. While I still travel for work from time to time, (I am writing this from a hotel room in San Francisco), I was home last week to attend my eight year old daughter's mime show, to see my eleven year old son's presentation on an imaginary culture who worship a frog god named 'Bruce', and to play Dora the Explorer with my 4 year old.

I can't honestly say whether or not that's made a huge difference in their lives - but it really has made a huge positive difference in mine!

--------------------
Today's Experiment:
--------------------

1. Ask yourself any or all of the questions in today's tip. Here they are again below:
*What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
*What would you want if you knew you didn't have to be unhappy about not getting it?
*Imagine you are at your own funeral. What do people say about you - not from the pulpit but in whispered voices at the back of the room? What would you like them to say?
*What would you do with your money if you had all you could ever need?
*How would you live your life if you knew you were going to die feeling perfectly healthy in five years?
*What would you feel you've missed if you found out that you had 24 hours to live?
*Imagine you are on your deathbed and you have had a wonderful life. What are the four or five things you are most glad that you did?

2. If you have a question that has changed your life in a positive way, please post it to the MNCT forum at:http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=3

(You can also post some of your answers if you like...)

Have fun, learn heaps, and live the questions!
With love,michael
Comments? Feedback? Please post your thoughts on the discussion forums at
:http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/forums/index.php

=========================
WANT TO LEARN MORE?
=========================

Here are some of my favorite resources for putting the power of questions to work for you:
Books *Emotional Options by Mandy Evans
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0976090139/geniuscatalys-20
*Loving What Is by Byron Katie
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0609608746/geniuscatalys-20
*Unconditional Bliss by Raphael Cushnir
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0835607925/geniuscatalys-20
*You Can Have What You Want by Michael Neill (UK edition only) http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1401910785/geniuscatalys-21

Related Tips and Audio

Members of the Solutions Café will also enjoy these related tips and audio selections:

*Change Your Life in One Hour w/Paul McKenna (audio)
*Deathbed Goals
*A Question of Money
*Question Storming
*Through the Gateway of Ourselves

You can join the Café at:http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/public/cafepublic.php
=========================================================
To subscribe to the MNCT, simply send a blank e-mail to subscribe@geniuscatalyst.com or visit us online at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com/
©2006 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Simple 'no effort' tips to improve digestion... from a nutritionist

Have you noticed that, as you get older, something happens to your digestive system which means that all the bad habits you got into in your youth (you know, the ones like eating on the run, throwing your food down, not chewing and eating whilst lying horizontal on the couch) can come back to haunt you and leave you with terrible indigestion problems?

Lucy-Ann Prideaux MSc BSc RNutr is a registered Nutritionist. She has a Masters degree in Human Nutrition, as well as a 1st class BSc degree in Sports Science. Here are Lucy's simple 'no effort' tips to improve digestion...

'Drink a large mug or glass of water on rising - preferably warm with a little fresh lemon juice. Sit upright at a table when eating.
Never over eat.
Chew food thoroughly.
Be aware of your natural appetite signals and work with them.
Don’t eat if you feel stressed, angry or over anxious.
Eat fresh food (especially fresh vegetables) and take time to taste your food.
Eat when you are hungry and don't eat when you are NOT hungry.
Avoid drinking too much fluid with food, but drink water between meals.
Do NOT drink tea and coffee with meals.
Avoid late meals (especially high fat or calorie dense meals).
If you suffer with poor digestion, avoid eating after about 7pm.'

You can see Lucy Ann's website at http://www.simply-nutrition.co.uk/

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The power of incisive questions

The title of Michael Neill's radio show this week is 'Incisive Questions' and his special guest is Nancy Kline, author of the excellent 'Time to Think'. Here's what Michael has to say about the show:

This week on Hay House Radio! Thursday, June 8 at Noon pacific/3pm eastern/8pm UK: (Internet radio at http://www.hayhouseradio.com)/

*****THE INCISIVE QUESTION*****

If you knew for a fact that the only thing between you and what you really want was a limiting assumption, what would you do to break free? This week, I'll be joined by Nancy Kline, founder of 'Time to Think International' (http://www.timetothink.com)/ and one of my favorite authors and coaches.

We'll be discussing and demonstrating the power of 'incisive questions' - questions that ignite the human mind with freedom and possibility. Because of the in-depth nature of Nancy's coaching, we'll only have time to work with a few callers during the show.

If you would like to step out over the edge of your world and discover how much is really possible for you, the numbers to call are:

Inside the US 1-866-254-1579
From the UK/Outside the US 001-760-918-4300

To listen to the show live this Thursday, June 8, go to http://www.hayhouseradio.com/ at Noon pacific/8pm UK and click on the button marked 'Listen Now'.

Coming Soon:June 15 - Mental Movie Making
June 22 - Motivation vs. Inspiration

For podcast and streaming versions of past shows, please visit http://www.hayhouseradio.com/ and sign up for the 'Listen Again' archives!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

10 fat-fighting tricks of the naturally lean

Whilst noseying around the excellent AARP website for my Contemporary Retirement blog I found an article, entitled 'Eat More, Stay Thin: 10 fat-fighting tricks of the naturally lean' by Brian Good, deputy editor of Men's Fitness. The article is aimed at both sexes and the principles apply whether you are male or female. You can read it at http://www.aarpmagazine.org/health/stay_thin.html.

Monday, June 05, 2006

A nation of borrowers...

If you live in the UK, you might be interested in a new programme that is running at 9.15 am everyday this week on BBC1. 'Britain's Streets of Debt' will look at how the UK became a nation of borrowers (we apparently have two-thirds of Europe's total credit card debt) and what this means for our financial future. Might be worth setting your video for...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Your divorce questions answered...

Divorce lawyer, Andrew Woolley, has very kindly given me permission to publish the following article in which he answers the most frequently asked questions about divorce and family law. Andrew's website can be seen at http://www.divorce-lawfirm.co.uk/

'Listed below are some of the most asked questions about divorce and family law and our responses. I hope this Article may help you help someone you know going through this difficult situation.

You may also find this divorce and family law jargon buster useful.

I've heard that a divorce takes years and costs thousands of pounds - is this true?

Not really. You might sometimes have to wait for two years before actually starting a divorce, if you have both agreed to base the proceedings on two-years separation and you have only just separated, but in all other cases a divorce takes between three and six months to complete, especially if you have expert representation to 'smooth out' any problems along the way.

As for the costs of a divorce case, a uncontested UK divorce can cost as little as £750 plus VAT and court fees. Initial advice is often available from as little as £50 plus VAT.

How do I know I'm getting good value for money - there seem to be a lot of variations in lawyer's fees?

A lot will depend on the number of years that the lawyer has been dealing with family and divorce cases. You may find a firm offering what looks like a low quote but what they may not tell you is that your case would be handled by a junior lawyer, or even a trainee. A fixed fee option helps you to understand what the divorce will cost in total and some firms now offer these.

Does a divorce include sorting out the house and finances?

No. A divorce these days is a 'stand alone' case as far as the courts are concerned, and any dispute about money or property is no longer part of a divorce case.

Apart from interim maintenance, you have to obtain a Decree Nisi before the court will become involved in any dispute about matrimonial finances or property. Even then, the court does not do this automatically. One of the parties has to commence a separate case (called an ancillary case) by filing further papers at court and paying a fee. Ancillary cases take many months to go through the courts and are also very expensive. There are at least two, and sometime three court hearings, and this type of case costs several thousand pounds by the time you have included barristers fees, valuers fees and many other fees and costs.

The best way to deal with matrimonial finances and property is to negotiate a settlement, and then ask the court to make an agreed final order. You don't have to appear in court for this, and it is much, much cheaper than a separate court case, just a few hundred pounds. For more details on financial settlements click this link.

If I agree to a divorce from my wife, will she automatically get custody of our children?

Custody and access no longer exist in legal terms. The court can no longer award custody of children to either parent, or order the parent who has the day-to-day care of the children to allow access to the other parent.

Instead the court has the power to make certain orders which may affect where the children live, how frequently you see them and so on. These orders will only need to be used if you cannot agree with your partner. The first step should be to try and come to an amicable agreement with your partner. If this is not possible you may wish to apply for a Residence or Contact order to secure your rights to contact with your children. Your lawyer can arrange this for you.

Is it true that if I split from my husband I will get half of everything?

Not necessarily. You can both agree to split everything like this if you wish, but if there is a dispute about the matrimonial assets, the court will take a lot of factors into account when deciding who gets what, including the length of the marriage, the needs of any children and the future housing, income and capital needs of both parties.

You really do need expert advice on the likely outcome of division of the assets at an early stage. Read more details here.

As soon as I mentioned divorce to my husband he said he'd stop paying to support our children. What can I do to ensure he continues to pay towards their upkeep and education?

As the courts no longer have the power to award maintenance for children it might be better to consider a separation agreement before obtaining a divorce. Such an agreement can include provision for child maintenance, and is enforceable through the courts. Once you have such an agreement you can obtain a divorce afterwards.

My wife and I have separated but do not want a divorce just yet - is there anything we can do as an interim measure?

If you have decided to separate, but do not want to consider a divorce for the time being, a separation agreement is strongly recommended.

Such an agreement sets out what you both agree should happen to the matrimonial home, and all the other assets such as savings and investments, endowment policies and pension funds. This means that there are no 'loose ends' which can cause problems later. Also, maintenance for children can be agreed in such a document. The courts can enforce all aspects of a separation agreement if necessary.

For more information read Separation Agreements

I understand from 5 December 2005 same sex couples were able to get married, is this true?

On 5 December 2005 the Civil Partnership Act became law, allowing same sex couples to register their partnership legally at their local registry office. This is not classed as marriage but does extend many of the same legal rights to the couple as a married couple would get. For a more detailed look at Civil Partnerships click here.


Divorce-lawfirm is the divorce and family website of Woolley & Co solicitors. Our head office is in Stratford upon Avon, Warwickshire, UK and we have lawyers throughout the country and can offer advice to British expats living overseas. If you are facing divorce or family law issues and need to consult a specialist solicitor contact us
http://www.divorce-lawfirm.co.uk/